Peer Envy

It's Monday. It's almost Autumn. Everyone is starting to focus less on fun and more on responsibilities like work and school. With this re-focus on work and school comes a focus on accomplishments in work and school. And, unfortunately, with this focus on accomplishments comes tear-inducing, self-esteem-ruining comparisons of your own accomplishments with those of your peers. 

I'll think I'm doing good, but then I'll look at how someone else is doing and feel like a total failure. I'll feel as if I'm working myself too hard, and then I'll look at all that someone else is doing and feel as if I'm not doing enough. Sure, I got an A- on a quiz and worked out this morning, but Sally from math class ran a marathon, got a 110% on the same quiz, interviewed Obama and ate all of her fruits and veggies. 

It sucks. We might be accomplished, but there's always something to improve upon - something someone else is better at - and we notice that and put all our focus on it. While this competitive drive is a part of what makes us successful, it sucks when there's nothing we can do about the situation and we just dwell on our own shortcomings rather than celebrate all of the things that make us great. 

I deal with this feeling often, and made a list of things to do when I feel this way. So, I thought I would share with you all my list of what to do when you're feeling like an incompetent failure. Enjoy!

1. Make a list of all the things that you have accomplished! 

Even if you feel like the list isn't that impressive, make it anyways! Remember that spelling bee in the 6th grade? That time your teacher used your work as an example? When your high school basketball team went to state? You have accomplished things! Make a list of your skills. You have a vast knowledge of music, you're a great cook, you're athletic - whatever it is. Thinking of all of the great things about you will instantly boost your self-confidence.

2. Make a list of long-term goals

Where do you want to be six months from now? A year? Ten years? Make a list of things you want to accomplish in your life to give yourself something to work towards. What is it these other people are doing that you are envious of? Do you even have a right to be if you haven't tried doing that thing? Think of an internship you want to have over the summer, the job you want once you graduate or your dream career in 15 years. Make these goals realistic, but still something worth aiming for. 

3. Make a to-do list for the week

Make a list of things you can do this week to accomplish your long-term goals. Set aside four hours to study for your big biology exam, get started on your mid-term research paper now, schedule an appointment with your advisor to discuss what you should do to receive an internship, practice your craft, apply for scholarships, reach out to someone in your industry to be your mentor - whatever the baby steps are to achieve your dreams.

4. Research what your idols were doing at your age

If you think you're not accomplished enough, research what your idols were doing at your age. Julia Child didn't learn how to cook until she was 40. Stan Lee, the creator of Spiderman, was 43 when he started drawing comics. Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't start writing the "Little House on the Prairie" books until she was in her 60's. It's never too late to follow your dreams!

5. Chill out and enjoy your life as it is now!

Chances are you're doing pretty good for yourself. If you care enough about your future to stress about how good you're doing, you're probably already taking steps to be successful. Worrying and being a stressful ball of anxiety 24/7 never did anyone any good. Take the time to enjoy your life as it is now. Professional success isn't everything; spend time doing things you love with friends and family. My amazing friend Kacey brought me to Riot Fest last Saturday and it was the perfect day - better than any day spent in the office or at school!

Don't worry, you're doing great.